Yesterday, I attended my first yoga class in years. Previously, I had only attended two yoga classes back when I was in college…and it was HORRIBLE. I left the classes feeling more sore than I was when I went in. However, this time around, I figured I would give it a go. In all of my 26 years on this earth, I have never been flexible. I am the most inflexible person I know- unable to touch even my toes.

Yup. It’s bad.

For the most part, I really enjoyed the class, which was titled Gentle Yoga. However, if that was gentle yoga, then I am somewhat fearful of what real yoga is like. We went through a range of poses such as the “downward dog” and “cat” and modified plank…However, as I was laying there on my mat along with the rest of the class, I found my mind drifting- racing. As everyone else was focusing on their breathing, I was skimming through events that had happened in the past as well as things that hadn’t even happened yet. 

My muscles tense, we shifted into a different pose. I found myself secretly getting frustrated. Why was the instructor so calm? How was it that she could seamlessly shift into this weird balancing pose while I, alone, struggled? Ever the over-achiever, crowd-pleaser, suddenly I found myself feeling panicked. Was I doing the pose the right way? If I shifted my head to see what the instructor was doing, I was sure I would fall. 

Maybe that was the problem. Maybe I was too focused on doing the poses perfectly. I couldn’t keep up with her though. She, almost laughably, asked us to balance on our derrières while holding our big toes at an angle in the air. Surely, she must’ve been kidding; I could barely touch the tips of my fingers to mid calf- let alone my ankles or toes.

Feeling somewhat ashamed and disappointed in myself, I found that the most enjoyable part of the class was towards the end where she placed bean bags (which smelled like chamomile) over our eyes as we lay flat on our backs listening to soothing music. But I couldn’t relax. All I could think about was the fact that it was too quiet. Where was she? Was she hovering over me? I desperately wanted to peek out from under my bean bag eye cushion so that I could see where the instructor was. When I wasn’t obsessing over the whereabouts of our yoga instructor, I was trying to stop my mind from racing.

70 minutes of this.

My main reason for beginning to do yoga (as well as Pilates) is because it is my hope that being more flexible will help me excel as an athlete. Also, it is my hope that the yoga will help me to RELAX and be more centered; more focused (I tend to be somewhat high-strung at times).

I was speaking to a friend of mine today about my continued struggles with flexibility to which he responded:

You know, some people just aren’t hardwired to be flexible. You’re probably one of them- although I’m sure that the (yoga) class will certainly help you build at least a normal range of motion..haha….

I’m still hopeful. I recently took out a book from the library entitled The Whartons’ Stretch Book, and I’m anxiously awaiting the next class. Mostly, I want to be able to comfortably touch my toes…but being a little less neurotic wouldn’t be so bad either 😉

Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape. -Anon.

As I write this, it’s been raining all day. By any normal person’s account, it’s been a pretty crappy day out(weather-wise). That being said, I knew that it was the perfect day to go for a run…

a long run…

a 13 mile run….

Walking versus Running

After having walked for almost 2.5 hours yesterday, I am convinced that walking is more difficult than running (at least for me) because today my legs felt as if I had been walking for the past year non-stop. If you recall from my last post, the longest I’ve ever ran (continuously with no stopping at all) was 11 miles. I remember that run VERY WELL because I literally thought I would die if we didn’t stop. My long runs were/are usually between 9-10 miles. Isn’t it amazing what adding on another mile can do to a person?

I digress.

I had wanted to try running something really long like 13 or 14 miles for a little while now-with my thinking being that if I can run at least half of what a marathon is, then I definitely know that it’s not out of the realm of possibilities for me down the line (should I choose to do it of course). So, today I decided to turn my 8 mile loop into a sort of figure 8 loop in order to add on the additional 5 miles. Normally, my regular run pace is around 7min/mile or just under, but today I was EXHAUSTED, so I ended up running around 9min/mile (shh, don’t tell anyone).

Today wasn’t about how fast I could run 13 miles though…No, today was about having the courage to start and the continued forbearance to finish…..

And finish, I did.

The body does not want you to do this. As you run, it tells you to stop but the mind must be strong. You always go too far for your body. You must handle the pain with strategy…It is not age; it is not diet. It is the will to succeed. -Jacqueline Gareau, 1980 Boston Marathon Champ-

So, in place of running today, I wound up walking instead. You see, I was feeling a little stressed out and thought I’d do something outrageous and run 14 miles versus the original 8 I had planned on (by the way, did I mention that the longest run I’ve ever done was 11 miles?). So, I started off running and decided about six minutes into my run that I didn’t feel like running anymore. So I walked instead…for two hours (approximately 8 miles).

Sometimes I put too much pressure on myself to perform well. It shows up in various areas of my life…especially with running. Because I used to be a really good runner, I sometimes inadvertently feel the need to be able to always perform at a high level. I never give myself a break because then I usually wind up feeling bad about it- that I didn’t run fast enough or hard enough when I could have, etc… 

I guess there are those out there who, like me, have to force themselves to slow down sometimes (literally), and that’s what I did today. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I feel a slight twinge of guilt that I didn’t run. However, once I made the decision to walk, I set a goal of completing a certain loop no matter what, and that’s exactly what I did.

It’s a constant struggle to know when to put pressure on yourself and how much so that you can push yourself in order to become better at something versus knowing when to pull in the reins without feeling like you’re succumbing to some sort of defeatist attitude (i.e. being a quitter or branding oneself as ‘lazy’).

I know I’m not alone in my thinking. I also know that there are some days when I really have no desire to run. Today, I wanted to be able to reflect on some things, and I decided that a slower pace would help me accomplish that. And while I may not have hit my physical goals for the day, I most certainly accomplished my mental ones 🙂

As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. -Henry David Thoreau-

This morning I was supposed to get up at 5am and go for a 7 miler. 

Whoops.

I actually slept right through my alarm. In the wonderful world of running, things have been pretty decent. A few weeks ago I did something to my hamstring, which then did something to my hip flexor- but it feels much better now. However, I couldn’t mask my frustration when it came time to work out on the track with the marathoners last Tuesday. They were doing 2-1-1 (which is a super long distance workout that I’ve never done), so I opted instead to do quarters, jumping in and out with them.

That didn’t last long.

My hamstring began to feel really tight and then bordered on being painful. It seems that there is just no easy way to ease back into track stuff. I say this because then, on Thursday, I met up with them and ran 8.4 miles at sub 7min/mile pace and was (for the most part) totally fine! So what gives?

Tomorrow is another track workout, and I’m almost wondering if it might be better for me to simply do a tempo-type run on my own- at least for a few weeks longer until I figure out the hamstring issues…

Additionally, the soccer season is now in full swing, so when I’m not running hard twice a week, I’m playing soccer for an hour and a half. Then there’s also the occasional golf, tennis and Pilates….

I wake up each day and am thankful that I have two strong legs and a healthy body, which allows me to move freely and be so active.

Success in anything seems to be connected with action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes but don’t quit. They hang on after others have let go. -Unknown