So, in place of running today, I wound up walking instead. You see, I was feeling a little stressed out and thought I’d do something outrageous and run 14 miles versus the original 8 I had planned on (by the way, did I mention that the longest run I’ve ever done was 11 miles?). So, I started off running and decided about six minutes into my run that I didn’t feel like running anymore. So I walked instead…for two hours (approximately 8 miles).
Sometimes I put too much pressure on myself to perform well. It shows up in various areas of my life…especially with running. Because I used to be a really good runner, I sometimes inadvertently feel the need to be able to always perform at a high level. I never give myself a break because then I usually wind up feeling bad about it- that I didn’t run fast enough or hard enough when I could have, etc…
I guess there are those out there who, like me, have to force themselves to slow down sometimes (literally), and that’s what I did today. I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I feel a slight twinge of guilt that I didn’t run. However, once I made the decision to walk, I set a goal of completing a certain loop no matter what, and that’s exactly what I did.
It’s a constant struggle to know when to put pressure on yourself and how much so that you can push yourself in order to become better at something versus knowing when to pull in the reins without feeling like you’re succumbing to some sort of defeatist attitude (i.e. being a quitter or branding oneself as ‘lazy’).
I know I’m not alone in my thinking. I also know that there are some days when I really have no desire to run. Today, I wanted to be able to reflect on some things, and I decided that a slower pace would help me accomplish that. And while I may not have hit my physical goals for the day, I most certainly accomplished my mental ones 🙂
As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. -Henry David Thoreau-